The FCC considers a radio or television station to have “gone dark”, or silent, if it is off the air for 30 days or longer. Silence is sometimes a good thing. Though some may question the need for seven months of silence. However, it takes the butterfly as long as it takes to emerge from its chrysalis. Change in geography lead to an adjustment in types of employment which meant modifying the use of time resulting a very different lifestyle.
It’s taken some time to adjust and get my bearings even keel. I redefined my artist mission in life, what types of work I wish to produce, how I wish create these works, and the time frames in which such things can be manifested. Part of issue involved a schizophrenic tug-of-war between what it means to be an artist and what it means to be a filmmaker. The two foci are not separate paths for me. Yet, in a world where more a more artists stake claim in their multifaceted identities, there still emanates this unspoken expectation for creative individuals to “pick something and stick with it.” I would argue that those of us who chose a multi/inter/trans disciplinary art practice are essentially sticking with being creative.
A voice from the past rises up in my head and I hear the words of a past colleague. “You’re not an artist unless you’re making art.” If you are not a creative who has nothing but time and resources to make work, this kind of judgement can generate a great deal of anxiety and self-doubt. It did for me …until I recall another memory.
In my final year of undergraduate study I was pacing in the hall stressed due to lack of insight as what I needed to create from my thesis work. This was unusual for me because I was always prolific and quite suddenly, right before the finish, I was not. Park, then one of my professors and mentors, approached me in a throws of my creative frustration. Upon hearing dilemma, he asks me:
“Are you disciplined?”
“Yes! I’m in the studio all day. I’m working on something all the time.”
“Do you play?”
“What?”
“Do you play?”
“Play? What to you mean?”
“If you’re not playing, you’re not disciplined.”
This is one of the most pivotal conversations I’ve had in my creative life. Those words continue to prevalent in my mind to this day. It is with this sentiment that I re-emerge slowly from the darkness; waking groggily from layers upon layers of transformative experience and fresh with a revitalized purpose and direction.
gone dark
The FCC considers a radio or television station to have “gone dark”, or silent, if it is off the air for 30 days or longer. Silence is sometimes a good thing. Though some may question the need for seven months of silence. However, it takes the butterfly as long as it takes to emerge from its chrysalis. Change in geography lead to an adjustment in types of employment which meant modifying the use of time resulting a very different lifestyle.
It’s taken some time to adjust and get my bearings even keel. I redefined my artist mission in life, what types of work I wish to produce, how I wish create these works, and the time frames in which such things can be manifested. Part of issue involved a schizophrenic tug-of-war between what it means to be an artist and what it means to be a filmmaker. The two foci are not separate paths for me. Yet, in a world where more a more artists stake claim in their multifaceted identities, there still emanates this unspoken expectation for creative individuals to “pick something and stick with it.” I would argue that those of us who chose a multi/inter/trans disciplinary art practice are essentially sticking with being creative.
A voice from the past rises up in my head and I hear the words of a past colleague. “You’re not an artist unless you’re making art.” If you are not a creative who has nothing but time and resources to make work, this kind of judgement can generate a great deal of anxiety and self-doubt. It did for me …until I recall another memory.
In my final year of undergraduate study I was pacing in the hall stressed due to lack of insight as what I needed to create from my thesis work. This was unusual for me because I was always prolific and quite suddenly, right before the finish, I was not. Park, then one of my professors and mentors, approached me in a throws of my creative frustration. Upon hearing dilemma, he asks me:
“Are you disciplined?”
“Yes! I’m in the studio all day. I’m working on something all the time.”
“Do you play?”
“What?”
“Do you play?”
“Play? What to you mean?”
“If you’re not playing, you’re not disciplined.”
This is one of the most pivotal conversations I’ve had in my creative life. Those words continue to prevalent in my mind to this day. It is with this sentiment that I re-emerge slowly from the darkness; waking groggily from layers upon layers of transformative experience and fresh with a revitalized purpose and direction.
are we back on the air?